Our family has been in a time of difficult transition lately. For various reasons (that I won’t go into here), I’ve stepped down from my most recent ministry position. We are currently staying with family and sorting through the things God is teaching us and growing in us as we look ahead to what is next, that murky picture of what ‘next’ is. And as I mull over and pray over the things that didn’t go well and the ways that dreams and visions didn’t pan out, the word that God has continually brought to mind is the word surrender.

Surrender is not a popular word in our world, especially in our ‘boot-strap’ individualistic American culture. In military terms surrendering means that you’ve lost. You raise the white flag. You admit that your opposition is stronger or more capable than you are. So, as an absolute last resort, for the sake of your own life and the lives of the people remaining with you, the white flag of surrender is raised. This is not typically a proud moment, rather this is a humbling, shameful act. Surrendering is also an undesirable last resort on the battle fields of our lives. We’ve been doing something one way our entire lives, when we learn that there’s a better way, that what we were doing is actually harmful. Do we surrender? Do we admit that there could be better information than what we have with us? What about someone who may oppose some key part of our lives? Do we work against them? We don’t want to give in. In fact, our world loves those who don’t give in and those who never surrender.

But we know that Jesus’ teachings and parables reveal to us that the priorities and values of God’s Kingdom are not the priorities and values of the world. Perhaps there is no more striking distinction between these worlds than when it comes to the notion and nature of surrendering. Now, there is certainly value in fighting on in many circumstances, in fact God calls His people to stand firm against the strong currents of this world and hold fast to the truth and to not surrender to the forces of evil. But the surrendering we’re talking about here is surrendering to God. This is what we must first of all understand and more significantly, must do.

Understanding Surrender

As a lover of music, I often find strength and inspiration through song. The nature of surrendering to God has been brought out in music in such examples as the title track of Passion’s 2012 release, White Flag, as well as the classic hymn written by Van DeVenter and Weeden, I Surrender All. God has always called His people to surrender to Him. But, being one who isn’t satisfied with short, trite answers, I understand that a statement like “God wants us to surrender to Him” begs the simple question, why? In our lives, we usually have some sense of why we do the things that we do. So, why would we surrender to God? The beginning of the answer is that the way to the Kingdom is through surrender. There is simply no other way. To see this we have to understand one of the most fundamental issues we humans have.

In our sinful state, in our willful thoughts and actions against our Holy God, we live as enemies of Him. We, as sinners, as sinful humans, are in opposition to God. Yes, it’s true. We live in opposition to God. And lest any of us think this certainly doesn’t apply to me for I’m OK because I believe in God, I know a few good “Christiany” answers to things, and I have above-average church attendance, a quick look through the Old and New Testaments will remind us that God’s people, the people He chose and established to be a shining light to all the world of what it means to follow and honor God, failed miserably. Some of the terms that were used about the Hebrew people throughout the Biblical record are such terms as “stiff-necked,” “hearts as hard as flint,” and having a “heart of stone.” These are strong indictments of the spiritual state of the people. These are all designations that show spiritual hardness and firm posture opposing God. And again, this is the people to whom God’s word and law was revealed. It is these people who, more so than any others in the world, should have known what it means to faithfully follow God, yet they often lived in hardness and opposition to God. You see, it’s very troubling that those of us who claim to follow God can, in fact, live our lives – even our good religious-looking lives – in opposition to God and remain in hardness towards Him.

We all have to admit that in our nature we are fighting against God. The very first word of preaching from Jesus that is recorded in the New Testament (Matthew 4:17) is a word of surrender, a word of admitting our failure, a word of acknowledging God’s high and worthy position, the word is “Repent.” Friends, if we don’t think we’re wrong, if we don’t think we need help in our lives, if we don’t really need God, if we don’t really need a Savior, if we think ultimately this is up to me being a “good enough” person or doing more good things than bad things, then there is no need to repent. There is no need to surrender to God. But there is then no relationship with God. And we are then on a dangerous and deadly path that we were never intended to go on. The very nature of the Christian life is one of surrender. We must surrender to Him because there is no other hope. We cannot accomplish the saving of our soul or any other soul by means of our own working and striving. In God’s Kingdom, life, true life, begins when we wave the white flag and bow our knee to the God of all creation.

That, I trust begins to answer the ‘why‘ we surrender question, but we are not yet seeing the fuller picture.  The next question is: what does it mean to surrender to Him? Really, what does surrendering to God look like? While the specific answers to this question are as varied as there are people asking the question, the heart of the answer lies in Jesus’ challenging words in Luke 9. Speaking to His disciples, (disciple, that’s a designation that I want to be worthy of bearing in my life) He says in verse 23, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” A quick point here first. These words were spoken before Jesus died on the cross. In the hearers minds the image of dying on a cross was utterly shameful and humiliating – it was not something that was in any way desirable or glorified. Only terrible and shameful criminals died on crosses. So Jesus words to spiritually die on a cross each day (words echoed by Paul in Romans 12 about being a ‘living sacrifice’) were not easy words to take in, and even today in light of the cross’s significance in our lives, this is not something to treat lightly or flippantly. Surrendering to God means dying to the things that are in opposition to God in us. The depths of our sin and hardness and selfish pride are the depths to which our kneeling and surrendering must be.

Another image that comes to mind in thinking about the nature of surrendering is one of bending towards God. We’re in the depths of winter around us right now, but before we know it, the first spring flowers will be popping up. A flower bends towards the sun because it knows that’s where the life source is. For the disciple of Christ, our lives are bent towards God. Our spiritual posture is one of openness and bending in towards the life source. It is a humbling realization that there truly is no other life, that is truly life, apart from Him. The branch cannot grow apart from the vine of life.

Now, briefly getting back to my story. God is using this time of transition and uncertainty to challenge in me the ways that I am not surrendered to Him. He is probing the areas of my heart, mind, and life where pride has a strong root. (It’s more areas than I’d like to admit!) Like a metal refiner burning away the impurities, it is a sometimes painful and humbling process, God is calling me to let go of every piece within me that is not bent towards Him, that is not bowed before Him in surrender. This is a daily process. Each morning I must admit that I still have parts of my life that are not surrendered to Him and lay down my life as a sacrifice before Him. This act of faith (as feeble as my faith is many days) trusts in the grace and goodness of God. This continual surrender puts life in the correct positions, God on the throne and I kneeling before Him. He alone is worthy to sit on the Throne. He alone is the King. He alone is to be glorified in all that I can ever say or do that meaningfully touches someone’s life.

A few days ago our family had a movie night. We don’t watch a lot of movies, but the kids had earned “Daddy Dollars” (doing extra chores and helping above and beyond around the house) and wanted to redeem them for a movie night. They selected the recent live-action drama-fantasy, Cinderella. When there are three little girls in the house that tends to sway the vote, but even our son didn’t mind the selection, and neither did I.

You see, I’m not ashamed to say that I enjoy movies with romance in them, as I still claim The Princess Bride as my all-time favorite, so watching, and enjoying Cinderella was certainly not out of the question. This version of the movie fills in much of the background story on Ella’s life (the name ‘Cinder’ Ella coming from a put down by her step family due to her hard work as essentially their servant and having cinders on her face); how she lost her mother and father and came to be living with her stepmother and two stepsisters. This part of the film is beautifully done, and one of the most stirring moments occurs shortly before her mother passes away. She calls young Ella in to see her and her parting words for her are, “Have courage and be kind.” It’s these words, along with the loving memory of her parents, which she carries with her throughout her life.

Now, I don’t want to delve too deeply into a movie, as even the best of movies only give us a glimpse of humanity or greatness, but I want to touch on these two themes that are central to Cinderella’s life and how she acts, courage and kindness. While this certainly is not a Christian movie (Really how can a movie be Christian, it doesn’t have a soul does it?), I believe these themes give us a picture of how those of us who claim Christ as Lord, and seek to follow Him, ought to live.

Courage

Courage is about taking risks. Courage means that I have to step out of what is comfortable, what is ordinary, what is expected, so that something better, something greater, something more important can be done or accomplished. The flip-side of courage, of course, is fear. Risk is called risk because you can lose something. Unless the potential benefit of the risk is greater than the potential loss, we’re not very likely to take the risk, to be courageous.

Now courage, as I’m describing it here, deals with our relationships with others and our relationship with God. It’s not like making a $10,000 bet at the blackjack table, yes that might be a big risk with a large potential payoff, but that’s a different kind of courage (or stupidity, depending on the situation), here I’m looking at things like the courage to stand up against injustice, or the courage to say something that might, in the short-term, hurt someone’s feelings, but is ultimately for the person’s benefit. The courage I’m talking about is like the priests of Israel about to enter the Promised Land, who, as described in Joshua 3:15-16, step into the flooded river before God stops the water. Courage risks our reputations and relationships at times. “If I do that I might look bad.” “If I say that, so-and-so might not like me.” “If I risk that and it doesn’t work out, where will I be then?”

There will always be reasons to say no to God. There will always be reasons not to risk, not to step out in faith, to play it safe, to go with the flow, to maintain the status quo. But the more I read about God’s working among His people throughout the Bible and throughout history, I see a God who is not very interested in maintaining the status quo. “I have come that you may have life, and have it to the full.” (John 10:10). Everyone in Christ is a new creation (2 Cor. 5:17). God is about to do something new (Isaiah 43:19). God wants to work in our lives and grow us and change us and challenge us in ways that we have never seen. That takes incredible courage to fight against all that would hold us back, but it’s a courage that doesn’t originate with us.

You see, we can only be courageous in our Christian walk to the extent that we trust in God. If I don’t trust that God is going to fill me up or support me in some situation then I’m not going to risk, then I’m not going to be courageous. It’s not that God won’t or can’t, the problem is my perspective, God’s not off, I’m off, I’m looking at things the wrong way. But when I do realize that His Spirit is with me, that He is stronger than any force at work around me, that “no weapon formed against me shall prosper,” (Isaiah 54:17) well then the game changes, and then the way is clear, at least clear in that I know who I’m following.

Now, as good as courage is, as much as we need courage to stand up to people or to say or do some hard things, courage without kindness can trample. Strength and will without a kind heart behind can wound instead of build.

Kindness

Kindness must go with courage, but kindness may not be what you think. I believe that often when we think of kindness we’re really thinking about being nice and docile, but true kindness is not nice and docile. You see, kindness carries with it a strength and humility that niceness does not. There is a reason that kindness is a Fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 6:22-23) and niceness is not. That reason is the motivation behind the actions. Being nice and being kind can often look similar, but my being nice to you usually carries with it the motivation and expectation that you will be nice back to me. If we’re honest, and I’ve had to realize this in my own life, we try to be nice so that other people will like us and be nice back to us; whereas kindness is showing grace and empathy towards another person for their benefit regardless of what we receive back. Being nice is a good human trait, being kind is a Godly, spiritual trait that doesn’t come of our own accord, it comes from God’s Spirit working in us.

It is the kindness of God Himself that overcomes the sin and brokenness in our lives. Romans 2:4 tells us “that God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance.” God is a holy and righteous God – we are to revere Him, but it ultimately is His kindness towards we sinners that softens our hearts and opens our eyes to see how good and holy He is, that He cares for us, that He loves us and seeks our lives more than we know. It is His kindness that draws us to Him. And if our hope is to not only be drawn closer to Him in our own lives, but to help others do the same, then we must know that God uses His kindness working through us to accomplish that. It is a humbling and powerful picture that God works through us to touch the lives of others for eternity.

Cinderella lived by courage and kindness to honor her mother and some vague hope that fate or something would make it work out in the end. Now, as a Christian, I take a different view; that we live this way ultimately to honor God, that even in the struggles of life we can stand strong and love those around us. This is because it is God who fills us up, it is He who strengthens us, and it is He who gets the glory in all things. He makes us worthy to be with Him for all eternity, no matter how terrible this life is and even if our ‘happily ever after’ never comes while we’re on this earth.

So yes, have courage and be kind, not so a handsome prince will sweep you away, but because the King of Kings gives us the strength and support to step out into the rushing waters around us, to say the things we need to say, to be the kind of people who follow Him and glorify Him with our whole lives knowing that His Kingdom is strong, His Kingdom is secure, His reign is eternal.

Sweater on display at Pittsburgh Children’s Museum

Fred Rogers, more commonly known, of course, as Mister Rogers, has always been someone I admired; for I was blessed and privileged to be among the generations of children who grew up between 1968 and 2001 when the well-known and well-beloved show “Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood” aired. Mister Rogers, in his kind and gentle manner, reminded us kids that we have great value and worth. Although, never (to my knowledge) explicitly mentioned on the show, Fred Rogers was an ordained Presbyterian minister and saw the show as a way to touch people’s lives in a positive, Kingdom-building way.

Why is Mister Rogers on my mind? A couple of weeks ago this Indiana family spent some time on the road – first meeting some of Brittany’s family in Ohio for camping and hiking at beautiful Hocking Hills State Park (highly recommended!), then on to Lancaster County Pennsylvania for a family reunion with my dad’s side of the family. It’s always hard to explain, but we are not from Lancaster County, nor do we have any family there, but it is a good meeting place for everyone traveling. This too was a good time to spend with family, most of whom we only get to see every 3 years or so. But the Mister Rogers connection comes on our journey home, as we decided to break up the trip by staying overnight in Pittsburgh, the city from which “Mister Rogers Neighborhood” was broadcast for over 30 years. We visited the Pittsburgh Children’s Museum – a fun and creative place truly full of imagination and learning – we had a blast, and sprinkled throughout the museum are memorabilia, pictures and quotes from Fred Rogers and the show. There are items such as the sweater pictured above (which almost all of his sweaters worn on the show were knit by his mother), a pair of sneakers, and the actual puppets used in the show. But it was after reading several quotes that my admiration of Fred Rogers, and more importantly, of the God who strengthened and guided him, grew immensely, and I was able to gain some very valuable insights into life in the Kingdom of God from this kind and generous soul.

The quote that struck me the deepest is this: “So the greatest thing we can do is to find what is healthy and laudable about somebody else and reflect that to them. I really think that’s the greatest weapon against any kind of bigotry, racism. It’s a large assignment, to be able to help people look deep within themselves and find what is wonderful in there, because at the core of everyone is something wonderful…”

That struck me so much because often I fail to see the great value in others, often those closest to me, and it also helped reassure me that I too have something wonderful deep in me, something that I believe is from God. It helped me realize that when I fail to see the great value and worth of others and don’t work to bring that out, I’m coming from a place of emptiness that I’ve allowed myself to not find my worth and fulfillment in God alone. If I am going to truly help bring out the best in others, then I need to know that my worth and value and creativity and direction come from God alone. He fills me up, He gives me value, and it’s out of that deep understanding that I can have the security and confidence to really help others. Without that piece I will always be trying to get something from those around me, things that ultimately only God can fulfill. But when I do realize how great and amazing that God is and that this incredible God uniquely crafted my life and I find my security in Him, I can see others through “Kingdom eyes” and see their great value and worth. When I do this people are seen simply as unique people, not as enemies or ones who don’t agree with me, but as ones created in the image of God by God’s loving and creative hand. Yes, sin has marred each of us, and marred each of us deeply, marred all of our relationships, but I believe God would have us seek to bring out in one another those deep parts of our souls that are still whole, the parts that may be dirty and dingy, but hold God’s image underneath, like a buried treasure that seems lost, but really just needs unearthed and cleaned off to see it’s great value.

God created our inmost being, He knit us together in His great love. Like the love that Fred Rogers’ mom poured into every sweater that she made for her son, we are held together by God’s great love for us. I believe our task as Christians, as followers of Jesus, as ones living in the Kingdom of God here and now, is to realize these deep truths about who we are in God, the great value He has placed on each of our lives, and seek to bring that value out in others; to spend much more of our efforts on bridge building than wall building. Because the thing is, the differences that divide us, the barriers and walls that we put up between us are all going to come crumbling down in God’s eternal Kingdom anyways, so as citizens of His Kingdom, why don’t we work on tearing those walls down now? Why don’t we invest in one another, trusting not in ourselves, in our own weaknesses, but trusting that God will work in and through us for His glory.

May we seek to fulfill the incredible declaration that Jesus makes in Matthew 5:14: “You are the light of the world.” Christ’s followers, the ones who have surrendered to Him, the ones who trust in Him, this rag-tag group of sinners and misfits, it’s us who God is using and will use to show the world the way to Him. What an incredible task! But we do not light ourselves, rather it is Christ’s light in us, His life, the image of the Divine in us that can show others the way to God and build His Kingdom. May we, by God’s strength and grace, be shining God’s light and helping others do the same, knowing that all of God’s creations, all of us humans, because we bear His image, truly do have “something wonderful” in us.

I’ve been in a wrestling match for some time now. What have I been wrestling with you ask? A topic of great importance, and the more I struggle with it, the more it’s mulled over, prayed over, talked over, the more I realize how important and central it is to our interactions with others and our understanding how we live in the Kingdom now. This struggle is in understanding the interplay between grace and truth.

Let me set it up this way – in my experience with fellow Christians, and in my own life, I feel a very real tension between grace and truth. I visualize a sort of tug-of-war with grace on one side and truth on the other. Truth is the side that sets an absolute standard, that says this is wrong and this is right. Truth points out sin. Truth says we’ve gone too far over the line, we’ve messed up, we’ve sinned. Grace, on the other side, says, your sin is not counted against you; you are forgiven and free.

Tug-of-war between grace and truth

Now how this struggle plays out with Christians in real life, I believe, is something like this. We see sin in the world around us, and we feel like if we show too much grace, if we let people off the hook too much, if we don’t point out sin, then anything will go, and nothing will be seen as wrong or sinful. What it will be like is that the only sin left in this scenario is the sin of negatively judging others’ behaviors and attitudes. This scenario, or the potential of this scenario, doesn’t sit well with me or many evangelical Christians. We feel like the world is getting more and more accommodating to sin, and that they view those of us who might point out sin as backwards, close-minded jerks.

But then let’s look at the other side. When we just stand on the truth, the standard of right and wrong, there is coldness and harshness there that leads us to look down on people and push them away. The image of this is sort of a ‘holy huddle’ where we insiders are all OK, and we’re pointing our fingers at those bad sinners out there who aren’t measuring up the way we are. We have the truth, and we’re good people, so what’s their problem? They need to just get in line and do what’s right. There are many, many former church members and attenders who have left the church because they have felt the pain of truth poured down on them without the grace alongside of it. They’ve seen the hypocrisy of some from the inside, where the standard of truth gets applied to others, but not to themselves, and it looks ugly, so they’ve chosen to turn away from it.  My heart breaks for them.

So, the central question for me in this is: How can I stand on God’s truth, how can I have His standard, not just of what’s right and wrong, but hold to the fact that there is right and wrong at all and that people do the wrong, how can I stand on that, and yet not do it in a way that alienates, puts people down, pushes them away, or devalues them in any way, but rather draws them to God?

John 1:14 says,

The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.

The ‘Word’ is Jesus. He came to this earth, from His Father, and He was full of grace and truth. For Jesus, there was not a tension between showing too much grace or showing too much truth – He was completely filled with both at the same time, and at all times. So, to begin to answer this question I turn to Jesus, and look at who He is and what He did. Looking into His life and His interactions with others there are many incidents where we see grace and truth at work, but I want to share two stories of Jesus’ interactions with sinners that help me get a handle on what being full of grace and being full of truth might look like lived out. The stories both come from John’s gospel, the woman caught in adultery in John 8 and the woman at the well in John 4.

In both of these stories there is clear measurement of truth that these women did not meet. They had both committed sins, they had both fallen short of God’s standard of holiness and purity. Both passages make it clear the women had sinned, the woman in chapter 8 had committed adultery, that charge was never challenged or dismissed, this was not a matter of someone spitefully bringing up false charges, no, there was a sin committed. In the John 4 passage Jesus points out her sin to her, she’s living with a man who’s not her husband, and has had a string of husbands (although we don’t know the details of how each of those marriages ended, the implication is that she was at least partially to blame). So, what is clear is that these women fell short of truth, they fell short of the standard. These women had both sinned. But it’s in these interactions here, I believe, we see the power of Jesus being full of grace and truth on display.

Jesus, being full of truth, never says their sins are OK. He never says that what they did was no big deal, but, being full of grace, He did not make them bear the punishment of their sin right then. He held out the full standard of truth, and they didn’t measure up, but yet they were not condemned and by the grace they were shown, they were offered life, life to be lived according to God’s truth, but by God’s strength. To the woman caught in adultery He says to her, “Go and sin no more.” The sin was evident, it was what others would use to define her, but Jesus calls her to a more truth-filled life, and he underlying implication is that this cannot be done on her own strength, but that God’s grace covers her sin and strengthens her to live faithfully. We see even more evidence of this in the John 4 passage.

This woman who Jesus met at the well was ashamed. She tried to hide from the effects of her sin. She didn’t go to the well when others did so that she didn’t have to face ridicule or shaming. When Jesus talked about living water that she could drink so she would never thirst again, she thought that was a pretty good idea, that way she wouldn’t have to keep coming out in public every day, she could just hide herself away, but when she was touched by the truth of her sin and the overflowing powerful grace from Jesus, she was filled and strengthened to not hide behind her sin anymore. It no longer defined her, and she boldly went to the same ones who ridiculed her, to share with them the great truth of who Jesus was. She was no longer feeling beaten down by her sin, but liberated from its effects, and empowered to boldly point to the one who poured grace out on her.

Dallas Willard defines grace as God empowering us to do the things we could not do on our own. Grace is not just something that saves us from the effects of our sins, but rather that it is the fuel that propels the Christian on to righteousness and purity. So when we merely look at offering grace to others just as ‘letting them off the hook’ (and also fail to realize the great number of times that we ourselves have been ‘let off the hook’), we miss the great truth that God’s grace is empowering – it truly is what enables us to live a faithful, holy, pure life, something that we could never even come close to on our own strength.

And also, one of the great problems with applying truth to others, is not that we don’t correctly point out their sin, rather it’s when we fail to apply the truth to our own lives as well; when we don’t realize that I too, you too, are a wretched sinner who doesn’t measure up to God’s standard of truth and holiness. The more that we realize the bar is so incredibly high that we haven’t measured up, I believe we’re able to deal more gently with others. Now, it’s at this point where we could go off and say, well since none of us measure up, then it’s no big deal the sins any of us commit, let’s just try to be decent people. No, then we’re losing sight of God’s truth. We must hold on to truth, but to apply it to our own lives as well. Yes, there may be some sins that you struggle with that are not a struggle for me, but that does not make me better than you, that makes me different than you, because there are sins that I struggle with that you may not, and that doesn’t make you better than me. All of us fall incredibly short of God’s standard of truth; the bar is far too high for any of us to reach, which is where God’s grace comes in to fuel and strengthen us. May we be humble people who hold onto God’s great truth, but also generously offer God’s grace to help fuel others to deeper and more meaningful relationship with God.

There is so much more in this struggle that I have yet to work out in my mind and even more to work out in my words and actions, but my prayer is that I seek after God to drink deep of His living water so that I may know who I truly am in Him, may know His truth fully, and may know His grace fully, and offer that grace generously to those around me.

Does God speak to us today? I never remember a time when the audible voice of God spoke to me. I’d experienced Him speaking to me when I’ve been reading or praying or through discussions with others, I’d get a sense in my spirit that God was telling me something, but never had I heard a clear call of God’s audible voice. Never, that is, until I met an unemployed man begging for a job on the side of the road.

Last fall we were leaving Bloomington, IN after several hours of shopping and eating and some quality time at the coffee shop, and as were heading onto the highway, to go back home, I noticed a man standing on the side of the road at the opposite on-ramp. We had some water bottles left over from lunch that I had been looking for someone to give some of them to, but I thought ‘well, we’re on our way home now, I’ll just keep going.’ But as I was starting to head down the highway I sensed an urging to turn around and get off at his exit and give him a water bottle and possibly a few dollars that I had in my pocket. (You may have different thoughts on giving ‘beggars’ money, sometimes I do it sometimes I don’t, or I’ll offer food or something else, I try to let God lead me in that.) It took a couple of minutes to get turned around and headed towards his exit, but as we were getting closer to the spot he had been, I noticed that he was still there (another confirmation that this was from God). When I stopped, he asked if I had a job for him, which I did not, but I offered a couple of water bottles to him, he took one, and I also gave him the $5 bill I had.

It was at this point I expected him to thank me, possibly say something like ‘God bless,’ and I’d feel good about doing a good deed and he’d have something positive from me, but that’s not what happened, and it’s what he said in response that struck me. He did thank me, but as we were about to pull away he said, “I love you.”

Yes, this could be dismissed as a crazy man saying something crazy, but I believe, deep in me, that this was the very voice of God delivering a simple but powerful message that I needed to hear. You see, I’d been really down the few weeks before then, struggling with feelings of failure in life and ministry. I’d really been down on myself and doubting who I am, and if I can do the things I’d been called to do, and God, who created me and knows me better than anyone possibly could, wanted me to know that I am His precious child. He wanted me to know that He is my Father, that He is the one who strengthens me, equips me, guides me, and all ultimately for His glory. And the power to be who I really am, the strength to lead, to dare, to risk is fueled by His great love. And God, who has always identified with the poor, used this man, standing on the side of an off ramp of Highway 37, in Bloomington, IN, to deliver a sacred message, to me, an unworthy and cracked vessel, that I am made worthy and made right, not because of what I have done, but because of His great love, because of His great power, because of His great worth.

I don’t know the man’s name, and I may never see him again, but God brought us together, in a perfectly timed moment, so that I, in some small way could bless him, and that he, as a faithful and obedient servant of God (at least in that moment), was a mouthpiece of God Almighty to proclaim His great love for me. It was humbling and meaningful, and I am grateful to this man, and eternally grateful to the God whose grace and love are beyond what I could earn, but are poured out on me – He is good.

God I thank you for your love – may it drive me to be the man, the husband, the father, the pastor, that you have created and called me to be.

Growing up we had these great Corelle dishes, white with green floral trim.  We loved them, but there was one significant problem with them, they broke easily.  When you dropped one or knocked it off of the table, it would not just break, oh no, these things would shatter into dozens and dozens of pieces.  Shards scattered all over the kitchen floor from one end of the room to the other.  The broom would immediately come out and the floor had to be meticulously swept in order to save everyone’s feet from an unfortunate encounter.

This past weekend we celebrated the highest and most significant day for the Christian, Resurrection Sunday, also commonly called Easter.  So what does a broken plate have to do with Jesus’ Resurrection?  As I was reflecting on the meaning and significance of what Jesus did, and what His resurrection accomplished, the word ‘restoration’ came to mind.  Jesus restored  what was broken.

Brokenness extends to all of creation, as Paul writes in Romans 8, “creation has been groaning” in its “bondage to decay,” but you see, we have each broken our lives as well.  We have all ‘dropped the plate’ of our lives and broken the connection and relationship with God.  We have all made a mess of our lives.  We all have sin and decay.

I never attempted to glue any of our shattered plates back together, there were just too many pieces scattered all over that even if you could gather all of them together and start assembling them it would be a fool’s task to set it all back together for even if you managed to do it, the plate would not be very nice and it would not be strong and stable like it was before being broken.

I recognize how foolish and wasteful it would be to try and put a shattered plate back together, yet, so often, I try to put the brokenness in my life back together by myself.  I think if I can just be nice enough, if I can just be a decent guy, then people will like me and all will be good.  And, the more I think about this, I believe what we tend to do is that as we are trying to put the pieces of our lives in place, when we think we’re doing a pretty good job of it, we look down on others whose plates don’t look as good as ours, all the while the brokenness remains, the frailty remains, the pride remains.

The deep truth that I, and every other human, must understand is that I stand broken before a Holy God.  I have broken that relationship and no amount of ‘glue’ (good works, nice words to others, acts of charity, church attendance) in my life can restore that relationship, can make me who God made me to be.  I stand broken before Him and I have no defense on my own.  This is the power and majesty of the Resurrection in our lives.  Only God, through Christ, can restore the brokenness.  Sin only causes death and decay in our lives and hurts our relationships with those around us, and breaks our relationship with our Holy God.

But He, and He alone, takes my shattered life, my frailty, yes, even my stubborn pride, and brings life and healing and true restoration.  It is only through the power, grace, and work of Christ that He accomplished through His death and resurrection, that I, or any of us, can stand before God as His child.

God, may You take the brokenness in my life, the sin, the decay, the hurt I’ve done to You and to others, and bring true healing, restoration, and life.

This past weekend something incredibly meaningful happened about 60 miles down the road from where we live.  At the 35th Annual Rodes City Run 10K in Louisville, KY on Saturday morning, one of the participants was a lady named Asia Ford.  Asia’s story, even before the race, is very inspiring; the mother of three wanted to lose weight and get healthier, not just so she could be there for her children, but to help inspire them to be all that they could be.  This race was to be one great example to herself and to her children that each of us is valuable and we can achieve more than we ever thought possible.  But as the race progressed, things were not going as planned.  Having recently gotten over pneumonia, Asia, at about mile 4 of the 6.2 mile race, did not feel like she had the strength to finish.  Her son TJ with her, she was praying for the strength to make it a few more steps.  Soon they had made it to mile 5, and it was at this point that the story turned into one that has already touched millions of lives.

Seeing Asia Ford struggling, Louisville Metro Police officer, Lieutenant Aubrey Gregory, on duty the morning of the race, stepped in to see if he could help her.  As he neared, she took hold of his hand and, in this gesture of kindness and help from the officer, she gained the physical, and more importantly, emotional, even spiritual support that she needed to finish the race.  Photographer Jonathan Roberts captured the beautiful moment of triumph as Asia, Officer Gregory, and TJ, crossed to finish line together, hand-in-hand.  Truly a beautiful and powerful image.

I love this story, and other stories like this, for what they are on the surface, but also for the deeper places in our lives that they point towards and shine light on.  In knowing the meaningful moment was captured on camera, and, in an insightful way, sensing that the image would possibly be seen by many people, Asia Ford offered these deeply important words to all of us:  “When you see the photo, just know that you’re worth it. And you can do anything that you put your mind to.”

Just know that you’re worth it.

These words, in a serious way, harken to the words that Jesus speaks to us.  In what is probably the most well-known Bible verse of all, we find the bold and powerful proclamation that “God so loved the world.”  But it’s in the next verse, John 3:17, that Jesus goes on to say, “God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him.”  Now, that word ‘condemn’ carries with it the imagery of what we today would say about a dilapidated building.  The building inspectors would ‘condemn’ the building, saying it’s not worthy of use, it’s not even worthy of being repaired, the only thing left is for it to be destroyed.

God did not look at our broken, sin-stained world, at our broken and sin-stained lives, and say, “Forget it, I’m sick of these people, just get rid of the whole thing.”  Oh, praise God that He didn’t!  Rather He saw people whom He created, people whom He loved, people made in His very image, and His heart cried out – “Save!  They need to be saved – they are worth it.”

Lieutenant Gregory looked on Asia Ford, not as someone who unfortunately didn’t have the strength and ability to finish the race she started.  He did not see her as someone who was just another face in a crowd.  He saw her and he saw worth, he saw a fellow human who was struggling, and he reached out and became a part of something so much bigger than himself.  Whether he knows it or not – he gave us all a beautiful picture of the Kingdom.  He gave us a glimpse of what God Himself did.

Now, I don’t want to over-spiritualize a moment or put Lt. Gregory up for sainthood, but what we see in that picture, I believe, is a picture of God’s in-breaking Kingdom.  It’s the kind of picture, that as we seek God’s Kingdom, we’ll see is happening all around us.  When we live in the Kingdom, when we take on the character and heart of our God we look at those around us not as people who need to get their act together, not as people who are different than us, as people who we don’t need to bother with, but rather we look at those around us and say, “You are worth it.  You are worth my time and attention.  You are worth my affection.  You are worth it, not because of what I can get from you, but because God has created you uniquely and wonderfully.  And you are worth it because, in God’s eyes, when He looks at me, somehow He says ‘My child, you are worthy of my love.'”

I cannot, for the life of me, understand why and how God does that.  I do not measure up to a holy God.  I am not adequate enough to receive any good thing from God’s hand.  Yet God, through the worth and sacrifice and triumph of Jesus, makes me worth it.  Wow.  And as I think about this, I realize, this needs to be the driving force in our mission as His followers, that people are worth it.  The mess and sacrifices of life are worth it because people matter to God, and none of us have the right to look down on others because without God we would be nothing.  Praise God for His great love!  May His Kingdom break into our lives more and more.  May we reflect His heart and His character more and more in our relationships.

I’ve been a full-time pastor for almost 10 years now.  I’ve been in more church buildings and church meetings than I can count.  I’ve helped start programs and run church activities.  I’ve met with people in their best of times and in their worst of times.  I’ve led Bible Studies and preached hundreds of sermons.  I’ve devoted a good portion of my life to serving God and His people.  But in the midst of all of that, I have a nagging sense that I’ve missed something; that there is something deeper and more meaningful that I haven’t yet fully lived in and held out for others.  I sense that I’m not traversing the depths of my own soul or helping others do the same.

The realization of that fact came on me like a blast of wind in my face that could not be ignored when I read this quote from the early 20th century French poet and author Antoine de Saint-Exupery,

“If you want to build a ship, don’t drum up the men to gather wood, divide the work and give orders.  Instead, teach them to yearn for the vast and endless sea.”

In many ways the church in the United States is struggling.  For many of our churches our numbers and giving are down.  We don’t do the same programs we did years ago, we don’t have the same life and vitality we once had.  I see it in the churches I’ve been privileged to serve, and I see it in my own discouragement.  What I believe I have been missing and what many of my efforts have been lacking is the clear vision of the Kingdom.

It’s ultimately not my job to “drum up” church workers and church activities, rather, by God’s Spirit’s leading and enlightening, I must traverse those deep and dark recesses in my own soul, I must understand who I truly am as God’s child, I must gain a clearer picture of what “Thy Kingdom come on Earth as it is in Heaven” really means, and then I must hold that grand and mighty vision of the Kingdom out for others to see.

Just trying to get people to do things is not very inspiring to me or to them.  It doesn’t capture our imagination, we don’t want to devote our lives to programs.  But I believe God’s Kingdom is breaking into our world more and more.  God’s Spirit is alive and moving, but if our eyes aren’t focused on it, we miss where He is at work redeeming and restoring what has long been broken and damaged, and we miss the opportunity of being a part of that great redemptive work.

I want to give people hope.  I want to help people live meaningful and purposeful lives.  I want our churches to touch as many lives as we can.  I want my own life to matter, and I want others to know that their life matters.  And where I believe the great depths of our meaning and purpose come from is in our identity as a beloved child of the King living fully in His Kingdom for His glory.  That is where I want to live because that is where true life and true love reside.

For His glory,

Ian McMillan